On Growing Old and Staying Warm

Tim (left) with Ted, his twin

My brother Tim lives in Anchorage.  Yesterday I received this e-mail from him:

It's official, I'm old.  The thermostat on my fireplace keeps going off at night and when I get up in the morning it's in the 40s in my house.  One morning I got the fireplace going and was doing the dishes and I thought, Wow, my feet are cold.  They were still cold three hours later.

My first thought was I could replace the vinyl with cork.  I bet that would be warmer.  Until now I hadn't thought of getting a new thermostat.  What a dope.

So I decided maybe replacing the kitchen floor was too expensive right now and I don't have the time to do it, so I went out and bought slippers.  Even with the thick soles and sheepskin my feet are cold.

There is nothing less hip for a guy than wearing slippers, except an old man hat.  Now I just need a good place to hide them if someone comes over.  Maybe the dryer.  No one ever looks in there.